Showing posts with label Things that do not benefit me at all. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Things that do not benefit me at all. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Duuuuude! Stop Bogartin' the Cheerios, man!


Crunch crunch crunch. Whoa, dude... total head rush. The FDA, the lovable drug police arm of the government, is getting on General Mills' ass about the claim that eating Cheerios can lower cholesterol levels by 10%. Why is this an issue? I mean, there are no absurd chemical compounds in Cheerios that aren't found in other cereals. They make them out of f*cking OATS. Oats are good for you, they reduce Cholesterol. The FDA says that if General Mills makes the claim, that makes Cheerios a drug. Are you serious? So, if I cut cheeseburgers out of my diet and reduce my cholesterol, does that make McDonalds the anti-drug?

I don't get it. If it were a mysterious chemical formula, okay. I can see it. However, it's a f*cking box of CHEERIOS. Made from oats. With perhaps some love. If you want to see the ingredient list, here ya go. What is it, the oat fiber? No, that's okay. Vitamin B? A? What is it???? No, no mysterious ingredients.

Well then, I have a proposal. I think that if you give me oral sex and consume the product daily instead of eating cheeseburgers, your cholesterol will go down 10%. That makes me a drug FDA, so you'd better get some chick over here to dispute my claims ASAP. Then you can truly suck, since apparently, you do. Assholes.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I can't afford 14 kids! Help me pay for them! Yay!

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

http://www.thenadyasulemanfamily.com/

Feel free to drop by there and leave nasty messages for her. I already did. I can believe she wants donations, but her dumbass isn't getting any from me.

Porkulus. It's not just for dinner!

Apparently, our buddy and savior Obama is touting this bailout plan containing no pork..."OBAMA: "Not a single pet project," he told the news conference. "Not a single earmark." Liar.

Well, the legislation clearly has projects that aren't set to stimulate the economy for years. That makes them pork projects. But it doesn't matter, because.."Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) declares during debate on the economic stimulus bill that "the American people really don't care" about pork spending Democrats laced throughout the bill."

I swear, I didn't want to talk about this. I was all for Obama and his cape swooping in to rescue us credit-laden Americans from ourselves. Now he's going to spend 800 billion dollars, and it's for what? Well, I don't know. Here's an article which points out a couple pork projects. There are plenty out there.

So, my tax dollars are now going to childcare, buying new cars for these asshole congressmen, and other little things. I will be honest and say that there are some projects I approve of, so maybe I'm out of line by saying my pork is better than your pork. But seriously, Obama said that Japan screwed up in the 90's... "We saw this happen in Japan in the 1990s, where they did not act boldly and swiftly enough, and as a consequence they suffered what was called the “lost decade,” where essentially for the entire ’90s, they did not see any significant economic growth." Now, that's not entirely correct. They actually spent a lot of money, fast. "Japan’s rural areas have been paved over and filled in with roads, dams and other big infrastructure projects, the legacy of trillions of dollars spent to lift the economy from a severe downturn caused by the bursting of a real estate bubble in the late 1980s. During those nearly two decades, Japan accumulated the largest public debt in the developed world — totaling 180 percent of its $5.5 trillion economy — while failing to generate a convincing recovery. …"

So, in other words, we're going to spend a trillion dollars that really isn't going to do much for anybody quickly... yes, we'll get some new roads, hopefully. More likely, my representative to this douchebag government is going to get a new car, that bitch that just had octuplets is going to get free healthcare for the 14 kids she has now, and I get to pay for it. YAY! Thanks Mr. Obama! You could at LEAST put in a few million for the K-Y jelly when you bend us over. What about help for all of us who have jobs? Is there anything in this stimulus package that does anything for those of us who haven't totally screwed up? I don't have an unpayable mortgage, I don't have a 100,000 in student loans, I don't have kids that need healthcare, and I don't need a job at this point. What the hell are you doing for ME?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Thanks pal.