Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Unbelievable (Part I)

See, this is the kind of thing that pisses me off about beaurocracy. One out of 7 Guantanamo detainees that have been released have returned to terrorism. And, they only qualify them as returned if they actively engage in terrorism, not just hate America or anything like that. They can spew venom all they want to, but that's okay.

I actually don't have an issue with them being pissed off at America, I'd probably be pissed if I was held in prison for a few years and was innocent. But the fact that we KNOW they went back to terrorism leads me to believe that they know where the terrorists are, which finally leads to the question, WHY HAVEN'T WE ROLLED THESE #$%^&* UP YET?

Well, if we did, we'd have to torture them to get info out of them, which of course we can't do. Boy, this moral warfare stuff is for the birds. I think it's time the rich cough up some dough to sponsor their own pro-capitalist groups... I mean, apparently it's okay to just fire up a new terrorist group, 'cause it's not like anybody on this planet is going to tell them they can't.


Rodney Carrington has my favorite solution....

God Bless America.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Puck Stops Where?

Alright, I said I wouldn't post about hockey too much. Whatever. I ran across a blog post which was bitching about another blog post, saying there are "No elite goalies left" in this here playoff series.

At first, I was like, yeah, who's in it? Osgood (won a few cups), Ward (won a cup), Khabibulin (won a cup) and Fleury (in SCF last year). Hmm. Well, I guess... no... hmmm..... uhhh.... yeah.

If these 4 guys, of all the goalies in the playoffs aren't elite, then who else would've been? There's the Luongo guy, who's elite. Doesn't have a cup. Well, that Brodeur guy is considered HOF, elite, but he's not here (and every single Devils fan is wishing Clemmensen or Osgood or Fleury was in net that night).

Pssh. Osgood has the best GAA in the playoffs, but he's not elite? Well, F you guys who say he's not elite. In years past, I was always a little skeptical. That changed last playoff year, as I was one of the ones praying they start Osgood after 2 losses with Hasek. We won. This year? I may have had some concerns during the season, but my concerns were more along the lines of whether the WHOLE team had the ability to shake off the hangover to win this year.

Playoffs this year... Columbus? See ya's next year. Then, the Wings defeated the Ducks, whom I consider the damnedest of foes, so surviving that 7 game war was a thing of immense beauty, much to the chagrin of my nerves. As good as the Wings did or did not play, Osgood was the key to it all... not soft. Well, maybe a couple. However, he has been great this playoff year, like last year, and I know he'll keep up the good work. All of you critics be damned, Ozzie is a Hall of Fame goalie for what he HAS achieved, not what you think he's done. I think this year he's going to show once and for all that he belongs in that goalie club called "Respect" or something.

Okay, I feel better. Thanks for listening.

Tonight's heroes: Osgood, Cleary, Samuelsson.

(How cool was that Cleary goal? More dropped silverware...)

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Cheers, Michael Buble.

I admit, I didn't like the guy because I'm jealous, and because I'm a wannabe crooner. This guy could probably get laid more than a Muslim prayer rug if he wanted to. I'm a big Sinatra fan, and my irrationality got the best of me. But, he is a good singer, and I've been catching pieces about him on TV every now and then, and he just seems like a cool guy. Then I found out he's a big hockey fan, which brought him right into my realm of respectability.

I read this interview with him about Vancouver's loss this year (from The Vancouver Sun), and his takes on the players, the coaching and the managment. He really loves hockey, and his insights on the team are excellent. So, Mr. Buble, I applaud your love for the sport, if not your team. Perhaps I'll even try to croon one of your songs one day.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Helm for President!

The nice thing about living in New Jersey and being a Red Wing fan is, when the game is on, and I'm at one of my favorite eating establishments, I'm watching the game at the bar and am watching the TV like an addict... when Helm goes on the breakaway, I give the warning... Go Helm!... go go go go... uh... YAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The 'Yahhh!' part is when most of the people who weren't watching the game (Yankees regular(early) season. whoo.) get the bejeezus scared out of them... I can't help it. Fortunately, I only do this for a couple weeks during the year, so they dont' get too mad at me. I tip well.

The point is, Helm has been fan-freaking-tastic. He's young, he doesn't know any better, and he's playing for an NHL regular roster spot. He's part of a winning organization, but he's played more games in the NHL playoffs than regular season! He has been a dynamo during this segment against the Ducks, and I say without him, no advancement for Detroit. Sure, Franzen gets the nod as the MVP for this round, but without Helm playing the way he did, and has been, the Wings go no further.

At this point, I could point out the negatives. Nah.


Can't wait to meet Chicago.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Duuuuude! Stop Bogartin' the Cheerios, man!

Crunch crunch crunch. Whoa, dude... total head rush. The FDA, the lovable drug police arm of the government, is getting on General Mills' ass about the claim that eating Cheerios can lower cholesterol levels by 10%. Why is this an issue? I mean, there are no absurd chemical compounds in Cheerios that aren't found in other cereals. They make them out of f*cking OATS. Oats are good for you, they reduce Cholesterol. The FDA says that if General Mills makes the claim, that makes Cheerios a drug. Are you serious? So, if I cut cheeseburgers out of my diet and reduce my cholesterol, does that make McDonalds the anti-drug?

I don't get it. If it were a mysterious chemical formula, okay. I can see it. However, it's a f*cking box of CHEERIOS. Made from oats. With perhaps some love. If you want to see the ingredient list, here ya go. What is it, the oat fiber? No, that's okay. Vitamin B? A? What is it???? No, no mysterious ingredients.

Well then, I have a proposal. I think that if you give me oral sex and consume the product daily instead of eating cheeseburgers, your cholesterol will go down 10%. That makes me a drug FDA, so you'd better get some chick over here to dispute my claims ASAP. Then you can truly suck, since apparently, you do. Assholes.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Free cars for welfare recipients!

Get 'em while they're hot! Can you believe this sh*t? I'm glad my tax dollars are buying poor people cars, gives me more people to road rage at. Assholes. I hope you get a Yugo.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Sunday, May 3, 2009

You little racist Nip bastards!

Google, in their quest to be the uber map kings, have packaged some old Japanese historical maps that show where the locations of the poor and unworthy are in their cities back from the days of castes and such. They're not very happy about it, as you can imagine. Here's the whole story.

It's very classist, and it's pretty ugly. Talk about busted bigtime. Ooops! I mean, it's not like we didn't know. Every society does it, so, whatever. Just try not to put it on a map is all I'm sayin'.

Friday, May 1, 2009

One small step for man, one backward leap for womens rights?

I'll let the picture do the talking... draw your own conclusions....