Thursday, January 29, 2009


It was only a matter of time until I had to, you know, rap about this, so here we go.

I hate Rap, but on the other hand, I love it. If you're an old school headbanger, you have to admit that in private, you can't help but bob your head along with the rhythm. Yes, it's true. There are white folk out there who have rhythm, but we all like REAL music, not cheesy top 40 crap, not mamby-pamby "I love you" crap, but stuff that sticks to your ribs. And as much as I don't admit it, condone it, want my or any other kids to have it, or even hear it on public radio, it's here to stay, and I'm discreetly pleased that it is.

The truth of the matter, freedom of speech. But that's not what makes it delicious. Nope. It's the "And when dealin' with da Lynch Mob you GOTS ta know steady mobbin is not just the name of dis jam, but a way o life, bound together by muthaf*ckers thas known ta break 'em off somethin'. Give it to me." Lyrics. This is an era that will NEVER be captured so... well... oddly enough, eloquently, as it has been captured by the masters of the era. Right now I'm listening to Ice Cube's Greatest Hits, and it's a delightful collection of thug life, bad behavior, decadence, drug use and abuse, disrespect of your fellow man, violence against women, and pretty much everything that we rail against as civilized people.

I know I'm not on target here, and I don't intend to be. This is about what the reality is, not what the perception is. Most people have given the rappers the bye, saying "Oh, if you didn't grow up in the 'hood, you can't say anything". I've always felt this relatively true as well, but alas, the poets words, as all good poets words do, transcend boundaries because they have TRUTH to them. How the suburban kids felt these lessons applied to them, I'll never know. That's always ticked me off. Yet another post.

So, as a (wait! time to pause for "The Nigga Ya Love To Hate"!) guy that was brought up to respect your elders, do unto others, this all translates to "blah blah blah blah blah blah". I LOVE listening to this... uh... music. It's captivating. It's so dark. It's what Metal always wanted to be, but couldn't because our parents would kick our asses if we talked like this. I know at this point Ice Cube's Mom is happy because he's rich, she's rich, and frankly, they're all rich. She should've kicked Cube's ass for speaking like this, much less recording it, but I'm glad she didn't, because every single one of them guys from Public Enemy wrote some good sh*t, and goddamn it they're good.

18 years ago, when all of this (OG stuff, not Sugarhill Gang) really got started, I wasn't happy about it, but there really wasn't much I could do. I could rail all I wanted, but they spoke the truth about a part of society that existed, not about puppies and love and illusions. Their sh*t is real, and as much as I hated it, I couldn't take that away from them.

So, here I am, way too late, finally listening front to back the albums that really made a difference in the music world. You won't hear this stuff on the radio, and for that I'm thankful (different post!). However, as someone who loves all music, if you love music, you're being a hypocrite if you don't get some deep catalogue Public Enemy.

Having a hard time wrapping this post up (much less writing about it, lol), so I'll finish with this. It's not fair for anybody to judge another for their perspective. On the same token, those who have had it held against them, should NOT assume that the rest of "us" have that perspective. It might take us all a while to get there and eventually we all can see that the other side isn't so bad. I do ask that you treat me with respect before judging me, which is EXACTLY the message that I hear within the lyrics, so Ice Cube, if you read this (HA!), just smoke with me before you shoot me is all I ask.

Bits and Pieces

I have lots to write about, but since I'm being watched, I'm going to cut it up into pieces. Here we go!

Anger Management - If you think I'm this angry in person, I'm not. Unless I'm driving, then I most certainly am. I actually have become angrier since starting this blog, but most of this stuff is supposed to be funny, and if you're taking it personally, or think I'm taking this personally, well, I don't. Unless you're French, Oprah, or driving like an idiot.

Vulgarity ROCKS! It has been pointed out that my potty mouth isn't going over so well. Good Lord Almighty, if you only knew how much editing I've done to keep this thing relatively clean. To all of you who would rather see my integrity restored, well, that's going to have to wait until I actually get paid to do this. Which I don't. So f*ck off.

GO STEELERS! 'Nuff Said!

Santonio Holmes! Trying to be a role model by saying "I used to sell drugs but don't anymore" isn't the right tactic. You made it, the rest of us haven't, so your point is moot. Bad idea.

Quitting smoking! It sucks, but if you have the right attitude, it's actually not so hard. So for all of you pussies who can't quit, well, you're a bunch of pussies. I'll probably be eating these words in a month, but hopefully I'll have gotten some by then, so then it'll be more appropriate.

Too Late to change Global Warming! So, now it's too late, and it's going to take 1000 years to reverse the effects? That doesn't jibe you scientist dorks. If a Volcano blows today, it's colder for a couple years. That's immediate, and doesn't take 1000 years. If the big volcano kahuna in Yellowstone blows tomorrow, we're in for an ice age like you wouldn't believe, and you'll be wishing we had used more Aqua-Net. My point is, just try to do the right thing, because if there's some earth-changing event coming, it isn't really going to matter how green we've been for the past 20 years.

Zetterberg signs for 12 years! NICE! Now he can get back to scoring (hint!).

Well, time to go for now. I'll see ya in a few.

Friday, January 23, 2009

What's the big idea???

Those BASTARDS! I hate them. I know, hate is a strong word. But what else am I supposed say? Nice things? I don't think so.

A little recent history... I've been busting my ass as an employee (for various companies) for a few years straight here. Go in, work hard(like 8 hours of talking to people, fixing sh*t, work hard), go home. Starting in October, I got a position change and my job changed, and now I run a lot of scripts. This means that I click "GO" and wait for it to finish. This can take a few minutes or can take a few hours, depending on which "go" I click. I was really likin' this new position. I could read more, write in my blog, catch up on the 8 billion emails I never respond to (because I'm too busy when I get home... not easy being a professional procrastinator), and in general, try to de-stressify (yep, brand new dictionary entry) myself.

Apparently, the honeymoon is over. My immediate supervisor was nice enough to inform the team that "we as a whole are not where we're supposed to be", and we need to make sure we're in on time, leave on time, not be surfing the internet, and in general, work harder. Okay, I can understand that we need to make sure we're getting our jobs done. But we are. Most of the guys on the team work hard, even my script-go-clicking self. But just because we're reading up on new comets or some sh*t doesn't mean we're not doing what we're supposed to be doing. We're not Jimmie Johnson who has to focus for 3 hours at 200 miles an hour. We're computer jockeys. We click go, the camel walks. When the camel stops walking, we click go again. That's what we do.

So don't get all pissy with me, or my peeps, because you're in meetings for 8 hours a day that you can't get out of. That's YOUR job. And I know 8 hours of meetings per day sucks, and that's why I dont' want YOUR job. You waste 7.5 hours out of 8 talking about stupid stuff that you only need about a half hour to coordinate, realistically. So don't give me the "every time I walk past their desk, they're on the internet" crap. Of COURSE we're on the internet all day you jerkoffs, we have more than one window open, on more than one computer, and we're biding our time waiting for the next "go" to happen. Did you look at the logs? Tickets? Are they getting done? Yes. So shut your goddamned pie-holes and go back to your pathetic meetings, where you're the ones wasting company time talking about NOTHING that couldnt' be accomplished in about a half hour. "Hey Bob, I need this to happen. You okay with that?" "Sure Pete, I'll send you an email when it's done".

Besides, if you're so confident that we're spending so much of our day doing nothing, than why exactly do you have so much time making sure that we all aren't doing what we're supposed to be doing? Oh, and what do you know about doing our jobs, hmm? So, lemme get this straight. You have SO much free time, that you have to parade around in someone elses' department to see if the employees are doing what they're supposed to be doing when you don't know what it is that they actually f*cking DO? Okay. Got it.

So, I hate those who are watching my monitor as they walk past, bitching to my supervisors that we need more work/stuff to do. Now I have all kinds of things on my plate that I may or may not be able to finish, because now I'm clicking on too many camels and forget which ones are walking, stopped, or died along the way. So instead of getting my job done right, it's getting half assed, because now I have to stress about what's going to get done now, and now the people that I would normally go to with questions about how to do things (still kinda new here) aren't around because they're running around trying to get different answers for the same questions, ya know?

So for all you jealous douchebags who feel the need to stick your noses in other people's business, GO TO HELL. Mind your own f*cking business. I'm sure you woudn't want me having an in-depth discussion with your wife about how much work you're doing around your own house, or in your own bedroom. But I'm guessing she (or he) is hardly satisfied, because you think your house is perfect. Well, wake the f*ck up. If you have nothing better to do with your effort than to look around at what other people may or may not be doing, then you probably aren't spending enough time fixing your own sh*t.

So, sorry for not being more prolific with my blog, but it's not me, it's the nosy bastards that don't work with me that are the problem. I'll try to write more at night, but then, I wouldn't be getting paid for it then, now would I?


Well, I'm off to click the camel.

A few quick thoughts:

So glad Obama is in office. Maybe now they'll stop talking about it.

Why did Israel stop in Gaza, just because of Obama?

Go Steelers Go!

Why is it SO important that we know if Galileo can see or not? Where are their supervisors?

Gotta go. Lemme know your thoughts.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Oh Boy, this is funny


Boy George! 15 months in prison for "falsely imprisoning" his lover, or whatever. I wasn't even going to read the article, but my morbid curiosity took over, and here we are. I didn't even think 15 months was that long for kidnapping, but there are lots of little inconsistencies with this story that I'm having a hard time understanding in between guffaws.

First of all, it's ruled as "False Imprisonment". What the hell does that mean anyway? That he didn't really imprison someone, but they were imprisoned anyway? I thought you either imprisoned someone, or didn't. Not a lot of grey area here. If he were a police department and arrested someone, then imprisoned them, I could see the false imprisonment. But he's not a cop, he's a homosexual, so unless he sang for the Village People at some point in his career, which I'm pretty sure he didn't, he doesn't have the right to imprison someone falsely. Okay, I'll accept the term for now. Let's move on.

I have to applaud Boy for remaining calm. Your friends and family though... "O'Dowd remained calm as he stood in the dock, but the verdict clearly shocked friends and family, some of whom burst into tears." What's so shocking about this? He was deemed guilty of pretty much a kidnapping crime, so he's being punished. You do the crime, you do the time. Like, OMG! I can't believe you're going to JAIL! Please. Quit your crying and move on.

But now, I have a bit of a beef (who says that anymore?) with the law and the facts here. This could take a while. "Taking into account the aggravating and such mitigating factors..."... "The singer had told police he had invited Carlsen back to his home after a cocaine-fueled pornographic photo shoot in January, 2007, because he suspected the Norwegian of stealing pictures from his computer." Good Lord, forgive me, but that's hysterical. Let's read that again!!! "The singer had told police he had invited Carlsen back to his home after a cocaine-fueled pornographic photo shoot in January, 2007, because he suspected the Norwegian of stealing pictures from his computer." Laugh my f*cking ass off, that's great. Why on earth you would TELL the police that you had returned from a cocaine fueled pornographic shoot I don't know, but I guess he thought the cops should know the facts. God Bless you Boy.

But wait? What's that? Ah, you invited him back to your house, after this coke porno party, because you think he's a thief, and a thief of photos to boot! Hey! Here's a great idea. Let's get all coked up, take some twisted porn pics, then we can go back to my place because you stole my pics! Sound good to you? Great!!! Not a lot of logic in that. Let's move on.

Warming up here... "During the two-week trial, Carlsen countered that the singer had handcuffed him to a wall and beaten him with a chain because he was angry he had refused to sleep with him when they first met." Well Boy, why didn't you want to do him this time? You got him all coked up, did some porno photo shoot, and got pissed because he didn't do you LAST time? I'm slipping. Need some help here.

Ah! This is where the law fails me. "Snaresbrook Court in east London heard Carlsen describe how he sustained injuries during their meeting in April, 2007, from being beaten and handcuffed. O'Dowd's lawyer said the injuries were consistent with bondage gear the Norwegian had worn."

So here, the Law shines. A couple of homosexuals get all coked up, do a pornographic photo shoot, go back to Boy's apartment, do the S&M bondage thing, never have sex apparently, and Boy is guilty of "False Imprisonment".


I wasn't in court, so I didn't hear the testimony. But, the "victim" was wearing bondage gear, was tied up... and... ?

Falsely imprisoned?


Okay pal, was it the Coke, the porn shoot, the bondage wear, the cuffs? Ah, that's it! It must've been the beating with the chain!


This is like the old lady spilling coffee on herself and suing McDonalds. At what point, super genius, did you realize this might not end up good? If you didn't want to f*ck Boy, you should NOT have accepted the Coke, NOT done the porn shoot, NOT gone back to his place, and certainly NOT modeled the bondage gear you f*cking MORON!

I wasn't there, so I don't know. Personally though, if you put yourself in a position to get beaten with a chain, you might not deserve it, but you shouldn't blame anybody but yourself for falling into the trap. 15 months for being pissed? Okay, okay, you shouldn't beat people with chains. But Boy, I have to sympathize with you on a level. He should've figured it out way before you even picked up the chain. Look at the bright side... at least you can get some in prison.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Miley Cyrus, a hottie? Uhhhh.....

MSN TV, that paragon of journalism, is apparently in need of a good editor. I'll try to keep this one short because I've already posted twice today and have another one coming. Ah, the point.

What is wrong with this situation you might ask? Miley Cyrus, the 16 year old hottie! I think we should trump up charges of attempted child exploitation or something. It's not that she's not pretty, or famous or what have you. SHE'S 16! She does not qualify as "Hot", since she doesn't qualify as "LEGAL"! What the hell were you thinking MSN TV? If anyone were to think she were a hottie, they would certainly keep it to themselves. I'm sure there are situations where a grown man would look at an underage girl and think she's 18, and that's understandable and borderline acceptable. But we all KNOW that Miley is 16, so to overtly declare her as a "hottie" is disgusting, deplorable, immoral and a whole bunch of other words of indignancy that I won't put in here. But I should.

Good lord. I didnt' want to put the whole pic in there for bandwidth purposes, but she doesn't even look hot, she looks like she should, a 16 year old in a non-offensive dress. Plain. Not hot. But then again, we have other examples of what they consider hot here (sorry Cameron, not hot) and here (Frieda Pinto? You might be cute, but this is a horrible shot, and frankly, I'd be pissed if I were you. Not hot). I seriously think they need a new editor, because whoever chose these women, and these photos should be shot, and not with a camera. Some of the pics are good. Eva Longoria Parker looks good here, kinda, but most pics are off angle, bad poses, strange expressions. Horrible, just horrible! I feel sad for these ladies. I don't want to do any of them, and that's borderline impossible.

Frankly speaking, I could do better. MUCH better. So, Mr. Senior Editor, drop me a line and get me to do your photo ops next time. 'Cause whoever you got now, STINKS. I just finished the slide show, and Christina Applegate looks fine (not really hot, but beautiful. There's a difference). Overall? 1 or 2 of 19 photos is not a good ratio.

Oh, and Miley? NOT HOT! Jeez. You should be ashamed of yourselves MSN TV.


Okay, according to the Terms of Service for putting advertising space on my blog, I am not allowed to tell anybody to click on my ads, etc. I'm fine with that. I just put it there for an experiment, to see how it goes. So, I am going to request that if any advertisement comes up on this blog that are French, French related, or benefits any French companies, do NOT click on them. This is an order!!! If you do, they will perpetuate, and I will be forced to go offline, and I don't want to stop my ramblings. So, for the love of God, Bacon, and Beautiful (non-French) Women (okay, that's a bit of hypocrisy on my part, I'd do a French chick if she shaved), do NOT click on ads on my site that are French.

Have a great day!

(I laughed for about 20 minutes. And I just quit smoking. Like I need this crap!)

World of Warcraft a College Class? (warning! boring uber-dork topic!)

This is going to be a long post, and it probably won't be as funny as my past posts, but I want to yap about it. I admit it. I play the game. I've spent countless hours leveling up my characters, and it's so involved it's like having a full time second job. It's addicting for gaming types, so if you haven't played it and are thinking about it, be warned... your life as you know it will change forever. But here we have an article about making it a college class, and the concept is actually quite viable. The focus of the class would be on the economics of the game, since a lot of the stuff you pick up along the way can be sold on a public auction house, where people who need the stuff you consider crap can be purchased to make stuff that may be needed by others. Therefore, the real laws of supply and demand apply, and would actually make for a good class in my opinion.

I know as a player of WoW that if I were in college, I'd take it in a heartbeat because it would actually put value on something I'm doing anyway. It would be similar to getting credit for drinking a lot. Good lord, if I could get credit for that, I would've had a PhD (more like multiple PhD's) 10 years ago. I might have earned a masters in sex, but the research is still ongoing. I'm hoping for my PhD in that too, but unfortunate side effects of long term relationships have put a damper on my willingness to tackle the subject material. Too bad relationships aren't more like alcohol. I'm still looking for a good Vodka, 'cause with a couple good mixers, you can change the flavor and you wouldnt' have to drink the same thing over and over... uh... I'd better get back to the subject at hand. I have a feeling I'm not getting any for a while after this paragraph. That, or there'll be a redhead wearing a french maid outfit when I get home. Probably a robe and a frying pan with my luck.

Where was I? Ah, that WoW class thing. Actually, in game there is a very unique economic model, because events can unfold which dramatically change the economic scene. For example, when new patches or upgrades for the entire game come out, items that were worth nothing yesterday all of a sudden become valuable commodities, and everybody is scrambling to harvest, buy and sell these items. There are examples of insider trading too, where people who find out before the latest release comes out what will be needed by others in great demand can hoard said items and make a killing when the new releases come out. Granted, there's no real money involved here, but gold in WoW land is earned, so making a lot of it helps you buy the better gear, and when you max that out, you can repeat the process with the other 4 characters you have.

So what's the problem? The problem is, the last thing a bunch of uber "1337" dweebs (you know who you are) need is MORE reason to play this game that they spend far too much time playing. Also, turning it into an actual class will give a student the idea to corner the market, or oversupply the system with too much stuff just to write a thesis paper. It only takes one person with some time on their hands to cause the existing economic system to crash, and that's a pain in the ass if you're just a casual gamer who isn't writing a paper on "what would happen if there were no healing potions" or something. It's one thing when an overall game change affects the game economy, because the laws of supply and demand apply. But when you make a class out of it, it's only a matter of time until every server has some college kid writing a paper on "WoW, Economic Collapse and YOU!".

I know, I'm being an alarmist. Actually, I think I'm just pissed because somebody is going to get paid (the professors, obviously) for having some knowledge and playing WoW. I mean, how unfair! I play the game to keep me out of the bars, not to get paid for it. Come to think of it, maybe I can get my Master's degree in economics just by paying attention to the market in WoW, hoarding my gold and crashing the market... and to think, I already have a title for my thesis! Then I can get paid for my dorky knowledge of a damn game! And if ANYBODY uses my thesis, all I ask is to send me a copy of your finished paper, and please don't do it on my server!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

When it rains it pours, Plaxico!

Ah, Plaxico. Just when you thought shooting yourself in the leg was the beginning of the end of your troubles, we keep finding out you have all kinds of cute little skeletons in your closet. Seriously now, why didn't you just pay the guy? I guess it's hard to live up to your contractual obligations when you pull up in the Avalanche(bad omens, anyone?) you borrowed and it looks like swiss cheese. Okay, maybe there weren't any bullet holes in it. But I'd be pissed if I lent my car to you and it came back damaged...

This is not the actual vehicle, but you get my point. Then you don't even have the courtesy to show up to do your autograph signing for the dealer, although you would have to sign a lot of autographs to pay off the 22,000 that was awarded to them. At this point, I'm sure the value of your autograph isn't where it should be for a superstar receiver. Dumbass. You make millions, and you can't do the right thing EVER? You disrespect your team on a regular basis by not showing up to meetings, shoot yourself in the leg so you can't help them in the playoffs, and now everybody wants a piece of your ass. There is a bright side though, at least you were more accurate shooting yourself in the leg than Eli Manning was on Sunday. Even you couldn't have helped him with that one, unless you could've capped him in the leg so the backup could've played.

However, keep up the good work. It gives me something to write about, and makes me feel better about my own indiscretions. I'm SO glad you're not playing for Pittsburgh any longer, we need guys that can play, not sit on the sidelines... or worse, in a jail cell. Have a fun offseason, I'll be waiting for the next round.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Mr. McNabb, please pick up the courtesy phone...

Ah, silliness can certainly be sweet. Sometimes it's appropriate, and although he received a 15 yard penalty for it, I think it was appropriate. T.O, suck on this. McNabb has seen his share of disappointments, so when he decided to go unprofessional with the phone business I couldn't help but laugh. So you go Donovan, you had a good game, and a bit of levity to boot. Gratz. We'll see ya in Florida.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

My kids are walking on WHAT?

This is just too good... "Go green: new business lets you recycle your sex toys"

I know the green movement is on the upswing, and I'm all for taking care of the environment. But playground mulch? I can't even rant on this subject, I keep laughing.

My final thought on the matter? I sure hope that hair came from a Squirrel! YUK!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Moo really cares Oprah?

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I like Oprah less than I like the French. I can't stand this broad. How many times are we going to be subjected to her stupid diets, her stupid weight gains, her stupid, stupid, stupid guests (Tom Cruise? The "Pregnant Man" who's biologically a woman?) , her stupid crusades, her stupid ideas.

If you're one of the sheep that follow this incomprehensibly self-righteous piece of filth, and you enjoy her work, I am truly sorry. Not for you mind you, and not for Oprah. I'm sorry that our society can prop up this cow so high on a pedestal yet she with her billion dollars does far too little work for society as a whole. Brangelina, whom I'm not very fond of either, does 50 times the work she does. At least Brad is building homes for people in THIS country. Yes, she has her school in Africa or some sh*t. The same school that had an abuse scandal going on. Wow Oprah, glad you can give those poor kids an opportunity to get molested. Great f*cking job.

As I surf the internet daily, I see her ads for "Try Oprah's Weight Loss Plan with Trainer Beady Eyed Douche!". Whatever his name is. Apparently his weight loss plan works so well, you'll break 200 pounds!!!! I'm disgusted. I need a break. brb.

200 pounds! Good LORD! I got pissed when I broke 200 pounds! And I'm a 6'1" man! At what point as a celebrity that's on TV every day do you realize that you're a COW? And then she has the audacity spout poor me crap? ""It's about using food – abusing food. Too much work. Not enough play. Not enough time to come down. Not enough time to really relax." She adds: "I am hungry for balance. I'm hungry to do something other than work.""

Too much work?? If you were working too hard, you wouldn't have time to stuff your fat face now would ya? Hungry for balance? Hungry for something other than work??? HOLY #$%^&!!!! You're obviously hungry for fifths at the China Buffet! Hey Oprah, you fat cow, Goodyear called, and they want to use you for aerodynamic testing at their blimp research facility! Have you been near Yellowstone lately?

And finally, you fat f*cking hypocrite, you end your article with this drivel... "One of the things I had to learn to do is to embrace this body that I have and be grateful for what this body has given me," she says. "God blessed me and this body. I mean, I could weep right now thinking about the love and appreciation I have for this body. For that, I am truly grateful."

Had to learn? I could weep? Are you f*cking kidding me???? You self centered pig! Embrace this body? Maybe with 3 more people you could try it. I've never liked you Oprah, and you can take your billion dollars and your sheep and shove them up your fat 200 pound ass. This goes beyond boycott. I think PETA should take away their praising of her (ooh! she dedicated a show to her dog! Let's give her a PETA award!), because she's not gaining weight eating vegetables, that's for damned sure. I sure hope she donated a few mil (not mentioned in the article), because eating like a pig doesn't make you sympathetic toward animals.

This country is going through it's worst economic crisis ever. Why don't you think of something besides menu items to focus on. I for one don't give a rat's ass about you, but you should really think about and help the people who got you to where you are. God forgive me, but I hate you.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Uhhh, Sid? What the hell was that?

Sidney Crosby, that was embarrasing (fast forward to 2:20 if you want to see the start of the fight). I know Pens fans all over should be cringing watching the replays. I didn't see the game, and I know you said you asked to go, but it sure didn't look like it. Grabbing his jersey (with both hands... aren't you supposed to punch with one?) and yanking him all over the ice like a dog with a piece of rope didn't look very good. Normally both players will have a sort of neutral position before duking it out, honor amongst warriors and all. That was dog with a chew toy. I know you're a young superstar, but as a leader, you should discuss these things with your enforcers before attempting to fire up your team.

I can understand being frustrated. I can understand stress, pressure, the pain of being in a slump (not as a hockey superstar, but I have my days (weeks? months???)), but that was the example the "there should be no fighting in hockey" jerks are looking for to ban fighting. For God's sake man, you practically drove his head into the ice. NO! Bad Dog!!! You deserved every second of the penalties awarded to you (fighting, instigator, game misconduct) that you got. And on top of it all? McLean says he didn't hear any "yes"...

(quotes from McLean, reported from the Miami Herald)
Did you discuss fighting him? "We had not, at any point. It was as surprising to me as it was to you guys."
Did you ever see it coming? "No I didn't."
Was Sidney jawing at you earlier in the game? "Before the face-off, like I told you yesterday, he was saying something but I didn't really hear it. I didn't know what he was saying, didn't really pay attention to it."
Did you ever say yes to him as he said? "No, I mean, I don't know where that came from."

So, what's the deal Sid? I can understand if McLean is having selective amnesia for getting his ass kicked by you, of all people. But, it's not like Crosby won the fight fair or anything. I've been in a couple of those fights. It goes something like this...

Scene: Random club, Anytown USA. There is a gentleman (Man #1. That would be me. I use the term loosely) at the bar, standing not unreasonably close to an attractive female (Woman), at least as attractive as 8 drinks will allow. There is another man (Man #2), standing nearby, leering at the shot girl.

Man #1: Hi! Can I get you something while I have their attention?
Woman: That'd be...
Man #2: Are you!...
(Man #2 grabs patron by the collar, pulls him to the floor, and proceeds to punch Man #1 in the head)
Man #1: But.... ow... ow... hey...
(close scene)

This is what I'm talking about. Enforcers don't just beat the crap out of each other without some kind of code. This "display" of yours may have energized the fans (I absolutely hate that cheering girl in the video. Lori, that had better not be you), but as ANY coach in ANY sport will tell you, you hurt them on the scoreboard. You don't just drive their unsuspecting heads into the ice. I can understand McLean not hearing what you're saying, because you, as the face of the NHL, are saying "You wanna go?". That probably sounded like, "Hey! I like your new skate laces!" You CLEARLY jumped his ass, and NOT in the way a players likes to get jumped. THEN you proceeded to use not one hand on his jersey, but two, like some rapist on a passed out girl at a frat party. You didn't let him stand, you took a cheap shot when he was just beginning to think "Is this guy really fighting me?" And then you drive his face into the ice (both hands?). You sir, and I'm loathe to use that term because you're clearly just a kid, need some counseling or something, because with jerkoff moves like that on the ice, you're going to get creamed out there, and frankly I think you deserve it. Frustration does not justify this type of behavior. Leave the fisticuffs to guys who can. Not to jerks who obviously can't, and shouldn't. That being said...

As for the announcers, I know it's hard to put together good commentary when the moment is happening, but saying things along the lines of "They're trying to send a message that it's going to be physical when you come to Pittsburgh" is saying what exactly? That next time anyone comes to play these guys they should send out their enforcer to drop the gloves with CROSBY? Your Golden Child? What the hell kind of message is that exactly? Yeah, maybe I'm overreacting, but as a Red Wing fan, I respect the talent the Pens bring to the table. This was not talent, this was just awful. I personally think Crosby should get a suspension from the league, but not because of what he did, but because he needs some time out from hockey to get his sh*t together. Your fans are wondering when you're going to score on the power play, not when you're going to take your mediocre #2 center (rossis, all you) who claims to be the face of the NHL taking 20 penalty minutes for a dishonorable hockey fight.

Sidney, I think you're talented and are having a tough time right now. I'd probably feel the same if I couldn't drink. But, you're the face, and this type of behavior is not helping you, your team, or the fans that love the Penguins. Whether they love you in the long run is up to you. Perhaps you should eat breakfast with Mario more often while you're living there.

Friday, January 2, 2009


I was looking forward to a good game between my Red Wings and Blackhawks, and I certainly wasn't disappointed with the outcome. The crowd, the venue, the weather was all good. The players seemed ready to play... at least Chicago looked ready.

In the first period, Chicago came out with spark and fire, and Versteeg quickly put one behind Conklin on the power play, who I thought may have been picking daisies out in the outfield. It was a power play goal, so Conks is forgiven for now. The Wings would quickly tie it up with their own power play goal, but Versteeg on another Blackhawk power play would slide a beautiful pass from behind the net to a driving Havlat who put it top left corner. Not much chance for Conklin on that one, but I was starting to wonder if the Wings were going to get the cement out of their skates. No such luck as later in the period Early would shake off Lilja behind the net, reverse direction and wrap it around front. It was a pretty, pretty goal. Conklin, I think, was on "she loves me not".

Coming out for the second period, apparently Detroit found the box of Dr. Scholl's lead lined skate inserts and removed them. They came out fast and hard, and Hudler scored within the first 2 minutes. Both teams would play well, but Detroit kept up the pressure and evened it up a little over halfway through the period with another tally from Hudler. It helped that neither team committed a lot of penalties, although the second Hudler goal came right after Chicago killed off a power play. Datsyuk would remind the world why he's one of the best at the end of the period, blasting between 2 defenders, deking out Huet and sliding one 5 hole to take the lead at 4-3.

The third period was Detroit's to lose, but came out hard scoring 2 goals within a minute at the 3 minute mark. The second of those goals was immediately waived off by the ref, but after further review showed it taking a wacky bounce off the inside of the net. 6-3 Wings. At this point, I could work on my hangover with some hair of the dog, since Detroit would go into shut down mode. The effort withstood a few chances from Chicago, but overall the Wings would keep the Hawks out of the net until 20 seconds remaining in the period, when they put one in behind Conklin on the power play. End game, 6-4, Red Wings Win!

Besides the skate insert incident in the first period, both teams played very well on this Winter Classic day. Detroit showed up to play like the champions they are, (at least in the 2nd and 3rd) and the Blackhawks showed a lot of speed and grit that these young players have. It was a great hockey game to watch from my perspective, and I hope whoever else watched the game enjoyed it as much as I did. Okay, so I'm a little biased. But overall, I think for the NHL, the Winter Classic lived up to its' name. I certainly am looking forward to next year's matchup, and despite the NHL folks complaining about the "ice quality", I think snow was the only thing missing from this year's Winter Classic.