Welcome back! (they were gone?)

France today announced that they will be rejoining NATO. I know, I know. How we survived all these tumultuous years without them, I can hardly fathom. But, they're back, and we welcome them back into the fold with open arms. This totally reminds me of the horrible co-worker who was out on sick leave for like, 3 months, and then they come back, but you hardly noticed they were gone, ya know? Oh! Hey! We missed you!... (not).

Had this been a trivia question, even a multiple choice one, I would've failed.

This country is currently NOT a part of NATO's military branch:

a) Switzerland
b) France
c) Croatia
d) Germany

I would've picked Croatia, but that would've been wrong. The correct answer is a, Switzerland. I know, I know, the Swiss aren't exactly known for their prowess, but I've heard that the Swiss special forces units are some of the best in the world. Where do you think the holes in the cheese come from? That's right, target practice, NOT gases created by bacteria during the aging process.

However, I digress. The French are coming back, and bringing their expertise with them. Let's look at what Sarkozy has to say about some of this...

"Because we must be there where decisions and norms are decided, rather than waiting to be told about them,". Yeah. Like you've ever given a f*ck what other countries have thought about anything.

"The Americans understand perfectly well that having weak allies serves nothing," he said. "A state alone, a solitary nation, is a nation without influence and if we want to count for something we have to know how to bind ourselves to allies and friendships." Wow! You finally figured that one out, eh?

My favorite, truncated for comedic purposes... "The move is expected to have little impact on the military as France..." Well that's a no brainer. You don't need to train people to drop weapons.

Okay, okay, I'll put the rest of the quote in there... "is already Nato's fourth largest contributor of troops with forces under allied command in Bosnia, Kosovo and now in Afghanistan – where it has more than 3,000 men." Although I would be reluctant to put "Men" in there, I am glad that they're trying to help out a little bit.

This doesn't change my overall view that France is a self centered, narcissitic country. I don't like the food, the hairy women, their holier than thou attitudes, but I can at least say that this is a step in the right direction. Man up France, you giant vagina of a country.