Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Welcome back! (they were gone?)

France today announced that they will be rejoining NATO. I know, I know. How we survived all these tumultuous years without them, I can hardly fathom. But, they're back, and we welcome them back into the fold with open arms. This totally reminds me of the horrible co-worker who was out on sick leave for like, 3 months, and then they come back, but you hardly noticed they were gone, ya know? Oh! Hey! We missed you!... (not).

Had this been a trivia question, even a multiple choice one, I would've failed.

This country is currently NOT a part of NATO's military branch:

a) Switzerland
b) France
c) Croatia
d) Germany

I would've picked Croatia, but that would've been wrong. The correct answer is a, Switzerland. I know, I know, the Swiss aren't exactly known for their prowess, but I've heard that the Swiss special forces units are some of the best in the world. Where do you think the holes in the cheese come from? That's right, target practice, NOT gases created by bacteria during the aging process.

However, I digress. The French are coming back, and bringing their expertise with them. Let's look at what Sarkozy has to say about some of this...

"Because we must be there where decisions and norms are decided, rather than waiting to be told about them,". Yeah. Like you've ever given a f*ck what other countries have thought about anything.

"The Americans understand perfectly well that having weak allies serves nothing," he said. "A state alone, a solitary nation, is a nation without influence and if we want to count for something we have to know how to bind ourselves to allies and friendships." Wow! You finally figured that one out, eh?

My favorite, truncated for comedic purposes... "The move is expected to have little impact on the military as France..." Well that's a no brainer. You don't need to train people to drop weapons.

Okay, okay, I'll put the rest of the quote in there... "is already Nato's fourth largest contributor of troops with forces under allied command in Bosnia, Kosovo and now in Afghanistan – where it has more than 3,000 men." Although I would be reluctant to put "Men" in there, I am glad that they're trying to help out a little bit.

This doesn't change my overall view that France is a self centered, narcissitic country. I don't like the food, the hairy women, their holier than thou attitudes, but I can at least say that this is a step in the right direction. Man up France, you giant vagina of a country.


SARTH said...

You said, "A step in the right direction..." Let me see, left is right, right is gay, so, you're saying their gay? Probably are. I mean, hell, they let a hobbit try and take over the world. Maybe if Gandalf had smacked him upside the head he wouldn't have tried. They can stay away for all I care. Not like they ever side with us on anything. If we were to say the sky is Blue, they would say, "Merde! Iz Green!" As far as the Swiss go...Special Forces? Are you serious? What? Protecting the Pope I suppose gives their Special Forces - Known as SLUGS - versus our SEALS - SLUGS= Special Lame Ugly Girls Soldiers. NATO is a joke. It just means we share all are secrets so they can betray us. Why else would Russia join? Share cooking recipes for the mess hall? Sure. Now China is being a pain...and we are AFRAID to do anything because CHINA has so much "invested" in this country...then, uh, shouldn't they behave, so we don't tell them to F Off and "By the way, the bonds you bought are WORTHLESS!!" hahaha

God, I miss the cold war. Where is my Regan doll, I need to go play GI Joe for a while...

Zerosum said...

now remember this is the same cuntry(mispelling intended) that allows kidnappers to dump there east European slaves on the streets fo France to be left as a vagrant when they wont sel or their mother does and the kid aint wanted. oh but wait one turned 17 and turned out to be a national France ranked boxer (possible Olympic candidate from Afghanistan) in the youth age group. So hey lets sign this kid up; hes a heart tug story a true showing of rags to what did they do they offered him citizenship...wonder if he doesn't medal if they will ship him off with the foreign legion...sorry Symo cant let you be positive on this one....