Crunch crunch crunch. Whoa, dude... total head rush. The FDA, the lovable drug police arm of the government, is getting on General Mills' ass about the claim that eating Cheerios can lower cholesterol levels by 10%. Why is this an issue? I mean, there are no absurd chemical compounds in Cheerios that aren't found in other cereals. They make them out of f*cking OATS. Oats are good for you, they reduce Cholesterol. The FDA says that if General Mills makes the claim, that makes Cheerios a drug. Are you serious? So, if I cut cheeseburgers out of my diet and reduce my cholesterol, does that make McDonalds the anti-drug?
I don't get it. If it were a mysterious chemical formula, okay. I can see it. However, it's a f*cking box of CHEERIOS. Made from oats. With perhaps some love. If you want to see the ingredient list, here ya go. What is it, the oat fiber? No, that's okay. Vitamin B? A? What is it???? No, no mysterious ingredients.
Well then, I have a proposal. I think that if you give me oral sex and consume the product daily instead of eating cheeseburgers, your cholesterol will go down 10%. That makes me a drug FDA, so you'd better get some chick over here to dispute my claims ASAP. Then you can truly suck, since apparently, you do. Assholes.
2 comments:
Several years ago in college, speech class, I did a comparison argument that beer was better for you then cereal - it has more carbs, proteins, and less calories - cereal did win with more vitamins, but my answer was take a vitamin pill as you have a beer...hope the FDA doesn't read this...
As far at the BJ - that was very funny, however, I have HEARD that it is high in protein - don't forget to mention that fact too...
Well, it's not bad for you. I heard it's good for reducing facial wrinkles too...
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