Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Israel vs. Iran?

Yes, it's true. The two countries apparently don't like each other, and Iran has said more than once that it wants Israel wiped off the map, along with a majority of the Muslim world... uh, lemme change that... along with a majority of the Muslim leaders. But I really don't get it. I know, call me stupid, or non-religious or whatever. Sure, it's the birthplace of religion for a majority of this planet, and certainly important for all of you who celebrate _____ (<-- Insert 99% of all religions here). Yay Jesus, and the prophet M******** (that M prophet guy that I don't want to mention or draw a picture of for fear that some brainwashed freakshow will suicide bomb my website or house or something), and whatever the Jews want with that territory.

You know, I hate to point this out, but it's a desert. From what I understand, they've been fighting over this chunk of sand for a few thousand years, primarily for bragging rights for the respective religion. What the hell? This is not the Stanley Cup we're talking about here, which is actually cool and nice to look at and would make a great jello-mold (I know, it's been done... saw it). I'm talking about the fact that just because some guy lived there, or someone was born there, or they found some old documents saying any one of these important folk lived here, we have to kill each other to live there.

Does anybody realize how stupid this is? I know that I'm not the first and will not be the last person to say this. We're killing each other over dirt. Perhaps if it were someplace really fertile like most of California or Iowa or something, I could see it being important. But it's dirt. I'm serious here... think about this. You and Jesus (Or that prophet guy) are hanging out, eating fresh tomatoes on a nice fertile piece of land.

Y: Hey Jesus, I've been thinking. Do you miss your homeland at all? I mean, it's nice here, plenty of fresh water, grazing land, crops grow easy and we'll never have to worry about drought. But you know, you were born over in that sandy, hot, rocky desert and I was thinking we should move everybody there because you know, you were born there and all.

J: Are you nuts? Here, hold still. Lemme give you a quick miracle heal to the head to cure you of delusion. It's perfect here! Why would you want to move THERE? It's a DESERT! Ask Moses about deserts! He'll tell ya!

See? That's my question. Why the hell did we go through all that trouble to put the Jews back in Israel? I've had this argument plenty of times, but I get the "But it's their HOME!" or "It's the birthplace of Christ!" or "That's where that prophet guy spoke to the big G!" argument. I don't want to be the wet blanket and all, but is that really a good reason to move to a desert? I mean, you've seen the bracelets, WWGRD? What Would Gary Roberts Do? I think he'd move out of the desert, and so would Jesus. Granted, for all you turbo-religious types, I'm sure you're saying "Yeah, well, if Jesus was there he'd like, produce water and trees and make it a paradise! Yay!!". No, I think he'd say something like, "This is the way God meant it to be. Let's move to the south of France!", and get the heck out of there! To quote Sam Kinison, "We have deserts in America we just don't LIVE in them assholes!" I miss him. Sam that is.

Why the hell couldn't we just put them back in Germany? I mean, the war was over, right? Go HOME! Where you lived! Oh no, we need to put them back in their holy land. Move over Palestinians! We know, this really sucks and all, but you're gonna have to move. Yeah. These folks want their home back. Yes, I know you paid 2995 for that plot of land there. Yes, I see the deed. Yep, know all about the fact that you're the owner and all. Sorry, you gotta go. Yep. YFBT. Heck, if they needed to move them to another plot of land that was a desert, why couldn't they put them all in Baja, California? That's a desert, and it's a LOT bigger than Israel! I'm sure the Mexicans wouldn't mind too much.

But I digress, because the title of this post includes Iran, who is constantly yapping about infidels, and Israel, who keep saying... Uh, you know... Iran is like, gonna nuke us the first chance they get. So I'm reading this article about how Israel is sabotaging Iran's nuclear program on the sly, until they can think of something better, without having to resort to Military options.

Wait a second here. We're all about no war and stuff, I get that. I read a ton of fiction and non-fiction to know that this is probably going on. But doesn't it show that there is intent by Iran to build the bomb? Oh, and apparently it isn't just Israel that's in on this, but "other" countries as well. So, if one country is doing it, then for the most part, a majority of those capable are. We all know how this works out too... you can't have a good shootout without 2 colored hats, so I'm sure the Chinese and Russians (sorry to use you two as an example, but you're still communist so we'll work with that for now) have their own operatives working the opposite side of the street.

So now, everybody is in on the take, and we're speculating about it like it's not going to happen. Oh, it's going to happen. You know Iran is working on the bomb. They can't NOT work on the bomb... it's a scientific impossibility for scientists to not research the unknown, right? I mean, if you're a scientist, you have to want to make the discovery to see if you can do it. That's the motivation. Oh, and the Iran government saying do it or we'll kill your family, then you. Sorry, I'm speculating. Iran would NEVER do something like that. Yeah.

So the cold war is on, but it's different this time. The terrorists will not win this game ultimately, because once all the stupid people are gone, hopefully the smart ones will go "Gee, that was dumb" and stop trying to kill each other all the time. So, for what it's worth, I think that article tells me that it's going to happen, and it's only a matter of time.

There has been a movement lately by the students of Iran, God (whichever one... the good one) willing, to try to get the maniacs out of power, and to institute a better government. Well, good luck with that kids and keep your eye on the prize. This time the prize is a big one, and that's life. You can't win a war if everybody goes suicide bomber, and for those spewing the tripe that bombers go to heaven... well, I know if it were true, the leaders would be the FIRST in line to martyr themselves to get to 70 virgins. Well, that wouldn't be my first choice of rewards, I'd rather have one Shania Twain. Maybe two. The point is, if Iran nukes Israel, it's all over. Certainly it's not going to involve the whole world directly, but I for one don't want glowing tuna. Sure, it'd be easier to catch, and I'm sure glowing pee would be novel. But really, it's not going to be good if all hell breaks loose.

It's time to reign in the maniacs and the religious zealots, of all denominations. I'm sick of people being led like sheep. I'm tired of people thinking that God is going to fix everything, and that good will prevail over evil. I hate to break it to ya, but God is not going to fix anything, 'cause in his eyes it's probably not broken. That, and if half of the world is "right" and the other "wrong" then therefore there is no good, and there is no evil, because the other side is always good or evil, right? Stupid! Stop being sheep, and stop killing each other! Why is that so hard?

Alas, I could expound further, but I'm late for dinner. Besides, I need to know what y'all think before I go on.

In the meantime?

Shoulda moved 'em to Baja.


Anonymous said...

It is highly likely that Israel will do something. Back in 1981 - wiki it - bombed Iraq's program. In 1991 - highly classified - they were about to Nuke them again - but the cities - because of the scud attacks. Remember for YEARS they supposedly had no Nukes - only to find out - we SOLD them a bunch...

On a slight tangent - read, or watch, but read, Charlie Wilson's War - and realize how we do some great stuff, and then drop the ball on the 1 yard line...

Symo said...

Good lord this was a long post. Yeah, let's hope it never gets to this. Shoulda moved 'em to Baja.