Wednesday, January 14, 2009

When it rains it pours, Plaxico!



Ah, Plaxico. Just when you thought shooting yourself in the leg was the beginning of the end of your troubles, we keep finding out you have all kinds of cute little skeletons in your closet. Seriously now, why didn't you just pay the guy? I guess it's hard to live up to your contractual obligations when you pull up in the Avalanche(bad omens, anyone?) you borrowed and it looks like swiss cheese. Okay, maybe there weren't any bullet holes in it. But I'd be pissed if I lent my car to you and it came back damaged...


This is not the actual vehicle, but you get my point. Then you don't even have the courtesy to show up to do your autograph signing for the dealer, although you would have to sign a lot of autographs to pay off the 22,000 that was awarded to them. At this point, I'm sure the value of your autograph isn't where it should be for a superstar receiver. Dumbass. You make millions, and you can't do the right thing EVER? You disrespect your team on a regular basis by not showing up to meetings, shoot yourself in the leg so you can't help them in the playoffs, and now everybody wants a piece of your ass. There is a bright side though, at least you were more accurate shooting yourself in the leg than Eli Manning was on Sunday. Even you couldn't have helped him with that one, unless you could've capped him in the leg so the backup could've played.

However, keep up the good work. It gives me something to write about, and makes me feel better about my own indiscretions. I'm SO glad you're not playing for Pittsburgh any longer, we need guys that can play, not sit on the sidelines... or worse, in a jail cell. Have a fun offseason, I'll be waiting for the next round.

5 comments:

Hept-Rossi said...

Just more proof as to why the Rooneys got rid of this joke a long time ago. I find it funny that when troubled players (Pacman Jones, Terrell Owens, Chad Johnson, etc.) are talked about going to new places, they never mention them going to Pittsburgh. We know why and that is because the Rooney's don't put up with that shit. If you are a good human and can play ball, here's a jersey. If not, get the fuck out.

Anonymous said...

Hmm...I am not surprised...32 Teams, 53 Players per team - just shy of 1700 active players...the US has over 1% of population in Jail...hmm...17 plus players...so, GO PLAX GO ! Makes the odds that one of my favorite players being one of those 17 that much smaller ! (Dumbass) Oprah is calling, see if McNabb can loan you a phone...

Symo said...

Well, jail lets you make one call, Oprah wouldn't be interested inless you got breast implants and then got a woman pregnant (Miracles I say!) and since this is his 3rd criminal offense, that should save 2 others from making this type of mistake, wouldn't ya think? lol....

Symo said...

@Hept, one of the reasons I've stayed a Steelers fan is because of the blue collar ethic they've had forever. Plax had been displaying his true colors before they traded him, so props to the Rooneys, agreed!

Vern said...

I have a friend who was out $300 because Plaxico walked out on a tab.