Overload!

Too much has been happening lately. God rest your soul, Billy Mays. Your grating pitches were annoying, then endearing. We'll miss you.

Obama, I'm pissed at you too. What is it with you siding with known socialist dictators, yet ignore the pleas of dying Iranians... oh, wait, you did finally say something a week later or something. Whatever. Cap and Trade? Going to cause the major manufacturers of fuel to stop making it here. Great work with that, increasing our dependence on foreign oil. Healthcare fix? We're at 75% (or more) covered. That, and hospitals cannot deny treatment due to this thing called the hippocratic oath. Too many people ride the wagon for free as it is, I don't want to wait 5 months for a specialist, since there won't be many who will work for pennies. Unemployment is going to rise again, businesses are moving to Canada (and probably Mexico, soon) and taxes are going to increase. Rumblings about a Value Added Tax are coming around, which will make our economy better HOW?

Sure, the Republicans aren't much better with their family values of f*cking in Brazil, or Vegas, or New York. McCain wants to keep the illegals, the party as a whole is about as cohesive as a headless flock of chickens and Palin still thinks she can handle the spotlight. Not so much. I like Limbaugh, because at least he's just a recovering addict and losing weight so he has more to be righteous about.

Too bad about that girl that was killed in Iran... she was beautiful. The election is over, but I think the Iranians will figure out what's important in the long run. Not our business anymore. As we pull out of Iraq, and the Iraqis cheer our departure, I couldn't feel better about it, actually. We did establish the sentiment of freedom... now let's hope they all buy stuff so my investment in Iraqi dinars can pay off. The way our economy is tanking, I might make a LOT of money.

Be careful out there folks!

First Ed, then Farrah, now Michael... I am saddened by the loss of the first two, but feel that children are just a little safer now because of... well... you know. Just sayin'.

A fine idea by an Iraqi

So the first Iraqi "Craigslist" is open for business (article). That's pretty cool, and I applaud the guy for getting it off the ground. One small step for capitalism, one giant dam ready to burst and drown the people in excess, just like us. Seriously though, good job. I wonder if his tech support will go to... ah, nevermind.

Pros and Cons of being a Hooters girl?

Read a nice piece (no pun intended) about the pros and cons of being a Hooters girl, and it didn't tell me anything I didn't already know... at least from the visible male side of things. I can only imagine how rough it would be to parade around in that god-awful uniform all day, and being ogled on top of it. Well, the ogling wouldn't bother me... those panty hose would. Those things are super-insulating. Hot as hell. Don't ask.

I have been on the pro #5 side (Thank you girls of Canton and Kennesaw, GA), and had to chuckle at the list... it's all true. And for all of you who want to scream "objectification", yeah, go ahead... you're probably ugly, flat or fat (although I've seen all 3, even on one girl, working at Hooters). For everybody who isn't a feminazi, I recommend the ham sandwich with the horseradish sauce, or the grilled cheese platter with bacon and tomato when hungover.

Hey, ever heard of this guy Favre?

Favre says he is considering playing again

Do you believe that sh*t? I mean, seriously dude. "Just Say No" to whatever it is that gives you the delusion that you really need to be on the football field. Come on pal, we're done here. Please. For us. For somebody. Have a kid. Do some charity. Become a talking head. ANYTHING but returning to football.

lol...

Crap. The lull begins! Let's laugh at the Liberals!

Yeah, I know... I said I wouldn't. Well, I'm bored out of my gourd. Today, one of my favorite douchy douche liberals, Bill Maher, had this to say(whole article here):

"Remember during the campaign when John McCain attacked Obama for acting like a celebrity and we all laughed at the grumpy old shellshocked fool? Well, it turns out he was right."

And how about this lovely tidbit?

" And like Lohan, we see your name in the paper a lot, but we're kind of wondering when you're actually going to do something."

But wait! There's more!!!

"Obama needs to start putting it on the line in fights against the banks, the energy companies and the healthcare industry. I never thought I'd say this, but he needs to be more like George W. Bush. Bush was all about, "You're with us or against us.""

With the privatization of GM and banks, and the prospect of socialized medicine looming over the horizon (shudder to think), I'm extremely pissed off that this guy (Obama, that is) is driving our country into a black hole of debt, and ultimately, despair.

However, there's a bright side! I feel like I'm the one riding the bomb to the ground, waving my hat and saying "Told ya so! You fucking SHEEP!" You bought into his rhetoric hook line and sinker, and what was said?

Iraq was an illegal war! We haven't done anything there! Well, according to the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD, Bush is being viewed as the dumbass who made the right move, creating a spot for democracy in the Middle East. I've been saying that since 1991, but everybody has been saying, "No, it's about Oil". Yes, oil is there, so it is a factor. But that doesn't change the premise that we needed to LIBERATE THE FUCKING PLACE. Okay? We did, it's working, and it's bringing... Oh, I dunno.... HOPE! CHANGE! And it wasn't even Obama, it was, you guessed it, BUSH. Assholes.

Oh, but how about that hope and change? Hoping he leaves me some change after he drives the economy into a ditch, illegally fires people who are doing their jobs, attempting to socialize medicine, which is incredibly difficult at best, and he wants it done by August or some shit. Claims not to want to run anything, so why do we have 40 Czars now? Come on, a 31 year old guy with no experience is now the president of GM. W.T.F.? The Europeans are making fun of us like never before, because now we don't stand for anything... we're just an apologetic entity, supported by funding from China. Wow. Great. Thanks for the image boost.

Okay, back to work. I just wanted to say something so y'all didn't think I offed myself after the loss.

Oh, Maher, you're a tool, and a cocksmoker.

See ya later, Comrades.

Grats Pens.

Well, it happened. After Rafalski blew every chance he had to make a good play for the first 40 minutes, the little voice inside said "It ain't gonna happen". Hossa didn't score (tool), and it looked like everybody on the ice was thinking "Well, we won last year. No biggie". Except for that tool Hossa of course. You'd think he would've played to win.

So, all you Pens fans out there, you deserved this cup more than the Wings did, and it showed. Bylsma is a f*cking genius, that's for damned sure.

That's all for now. Have a nice weekend everybody.

48 hours of madness

Okay, more like 50. By the time anybody reads this, it'll probably be more like 2 if my hit counter is lucky. Regardless, after another well played home game by the Pens yesterday, we all have to wait for game 7 on Friday. 8:00 p.m. Channel 4. Just in case you didn't know. Yeah. Sure.

What a game though! I have noticed that all throughout the playoffs, the Wings have done this to the opponents when playing away games... start slow, pick it up halfway through, dominate the 3rd (not so much yesterday) . We can speculate about the what if's, but they aren't important. All that's left is game 7. Wings played for a shot at winning, but the Pens sent the message that more or less came across as "Not this time, you fucks". I can appreciate that on a lot of levels, so bravo again Pens. What a f*cking series.

This is the part that kills... the wait. I have confidence that the Wings will be fine going back to the Joe. Fleury has been weak on the road, so there isn't another player that has more pressure going into this last battle than him. Ozzy has been solid, nobody will question his play so far. Malkin and Crosby will have their blankets, which work both ways. It's up to the grinders to get this one put away, so it bodes to be good hockey.

But jeez. 48 hours? Sucks.

This has been the best and hardest final for the Wings since I've been watching them play (Never went more than 6 games). The whole atmosphere is different... I think once the Pens tied it up 2-2, the non-Wing-Pen fans out there are enjoying this series too. As I've said before, my friends have become adversaries, and some of the despised teams fans and I have common interests.

So, let's hope my sanity maintains itself for 2 more days, and may the best team win.

Go Red Wings!

Good Vibrations

I spent the day before the game at the Mid Atlantic Air Museum in Reading, PA yesterday. They do a WWII re-enactment type weekend, and if you're into warbirds, this event is a must-see. Lots of the people don uniforms or dress in the fashion of that period, giving it a really authentic vibe. Some of these folks take it to the extreme, with wool uniforms on a 90 degree day. Crazy, but if it makes them (and me) happy, then so be it.

From the very start I was receiving "Go Wings" chatter from the folks around, a majority of them Flyers fans. Still, it made me feel good that folks on this side of Pennsylvania are rooting for the Wings, unlike my buddies who live in Jersey who want the Pens to win.

The really cool moment though, was when this truck passed by us..

At the time, my back was to them as they passed me, and one of the guys in the back said "Go Detroit!", and for a moment it felt like I was in France, on this D-Day. It was totally a "Saving Private Ryan" moment for me. But that was when I knew it'd be okay... that the Wings would recover from the sluggishness of playing too much hockey in a short timeframe. That they'd stop missing passes, stop turning the puck over and create more traffic in front. And they did... that was the best game I've seen them play in a long time. Pens meltdown notwithstanding, the guys finally showed up ready to go. Now we get an extra day of rest going into Tuesday. This is it Pens, but I called it in 6 from beginning, and I think I like my chances. Go Red Wings!

Well played, Pens

Tonight didn't turn out as I'd hoped, but I have to applaud the Pens for playing a great game. I knew the Wings were in trouble when I got to my buddy's house, for everybody was rooting for the Pens. My so-called friends, all of them. They even conspired to fake a short-handed goal when I was in the bathroom.. which proved to be prophetic.

"We're tired of the Wings winning all the time... we're rooting for the underdog" and such. So, I apologize to all Wings fans out there for putting myself in a pit of vipers, but overall, I thought the game was well fought, had a ton of good hockey and brought forth the team that deserved to win tonight, the Penguins.

I'm not going to dissect what went wrong, mainly because Staal stepped up and made the "sorry Pens fans, I owe you this" goal, and from that moment on, never let up. Lots of Wing turnovers. I've never seen them this sloppy.

Grats for the victory Pens fans, but don't think things will be as fortunate for you at the Joe. The Wings will figure it out... I'm sure of it...

AHA! Malkin is on COKE!

THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!!!!!

Apparently, traces of cocaine have been found in Red Bull products in China!!! And Malkin, as uncovered by Dmitry Chesnokov, admitted to drinking Red Bull!!!!! I want him drug tested NOW!!!!!

So the truth comes out. Shame on you, Evgeni. Shame.

lol...

Seriously, it's not a big deal. However, considering he has been playing 10 times better than last year, it does make me wonder... Does Red Bull give you... uh.... Wings? HAH! It sure did! 25 Red Wings! Oh boy, that's awful. If the endorsement comes out, I apologize.

All kinds of silliness. Thanks for the indulgence.

Game 4 tomorrow. Beware the Draper, I think he'll be coming back for this one.

Hockey Goodness!

Good Lord.

Hossa this! Crosby that! Kronwall hit a guy hard! Guerin has bad breath! (That probably isn't true, but it's needed for the point here).

Shut up! All of you, you whiners about the non-calls, the bitching about this or that, shut up! Nitpicking to the utmost degree! We all know that Hossa didn't slash, there's a ton of clutching and grabbing and the series hasn't been all that interesting. YEAH RIGHT. If it wasn't so interesting, why are we inundated with all this blog crap?

Look, the Wings have had some luck, true. But you create your luck. Hard work pays off. All of the stupid cliches are working here, it boils down to 2 home wins for the Wings. I'm a Wings fan. I'm happy with the position. BY NO MEANS does it mean the lock is solid, because the Leafs back in forty-whatever came back from 0-3 to beat the Wings. It will NOT happen this year, but people have to just shut the hell up and watch the hockey games. Pens have been playing well, but Dan hasn't picked up on what Babcock is doing... nothing sinister mind you, but it's sneaky, and it's awesome. Can't tell you, he'd have me shot.

Helm? Score some more, would ya?

Unbelievable (Part I)

See, this is the kind of thing that pisses me off about beaurocracy. One out of 7 Guantanamo detainees that have been released have returned to terrorism. And, they only qualify them as returned if they actively engage in terrorism, not just hate America or anything like that. They can spew venom all they want to, but that's okay.

I actually don't have an issue with them being pissed off at America, I'd probably be pissed if I was held in prison for a few years and was innocent. But the fact that we KNOW they went back to terrorism leads me to believe that they know where the terrorists are, which finally leads to the question, WHY HAVEN'T WE ROLLED THESE #$%^&* UP YET?

Well, if we did, we'd have to torture them to get info out of them, which of course we can't do. Boy, this moral warfare stuff is for the birds. I think it's time the rich cough up some dough to sponsor their own pro-capitalist groups... I mean, apparently it's okay to just fire up a new terrorist group, 'cause it's not like anybody on this planet is going to tell them they can't.

What.The.F*CK.

Rodney Carrington has my favorite solution....



God Bless America.

The Puck Stops Where?

Alright, I said I wouldn't post about hockey too much. Whatever. I ran across a blog post which was bitching about another blog post, saying there are "No elite goalies left" in this here playoff series.

At first, I was like, yeah, who's in it? Osgood (won a few cups), Ward (won a cup), Khabibulin (won a cup) and Fleury (in SCF last year). Hmm. Well, I guess... no... hmmm..... uhhh.... yeah.

If these 4 guys, of all the goalies in the playoffs aren't elite, then who else would've been? There's the Luongo guy, who's elite. Doesn't have a cup. Well, that Brodeur guy is considered HOF, elite, but he's not here (and every single Devils fan is wishing Clemmensen or Osgood or Fleury was in net that night).

Pssh. Osgood has the best GAA in the playoffs, but he's not elite? Well, F you guys who say he's not elite. In years past, I was always a little skeptical. That changed last playoff year, as I was one of the ones praying they start Osgood after 2 losses with Hasek. We won. This year? I may have had some concerns during the season, but my concerns were more along the lines of whether the WHOLE team had the ability to shake off the hangover to win this year.

Playoffs this year... Columbus? See ya's next year. Then, the Wings defeated the Ducks, whom I consider the damnedest of foes, so surviving that 7 game war was a thing of immense beauty, much to the chagrin of my nerves. As good as the Wings did or did not play, Osgood was the key to it all... not soft. Well, maybe a couple. However, he has been great this playoff year, like last year, and I know he'll keep up the good work. All of you critics be damned, Ozzie is a Hall of Fame goalie for what he HAS achieved, not what you think he's done. I think this year he's going to show once and for all that he belongs in that goalie club called "Respect" or something.

Okay, I feel better. Thanks for listening.

Tonight's heroes: Osgood, Cleary, Samuelsson.

(How cool was that Cleary goal? More dropped silverware...)

Cheers, Michael Buble.

I admit, I didn't like the guy because I'm jealous, and because I'm a wannabe crooner. This guy could probably get laid more than a Muslim prayer rug if he wanted to. I'm a big Sinatra fan, and my irrationality got the best of me. But, he is a good singer, and I've been catching pieces about him on TV every now and then, and he just seems like a cool guy. Then I found out he's a big hockey fan, which brought him right into my realm of respectability.

I read this interview with him about Vancouver's loss this year (from The Vancouver Sun), and his takes on the players, the coaching and the managment. He really loves hockey, and his insights on the team are excellent. So, Mr. Buble, I applaud your love for the sport, if not your team. Perhaps I'll even try to croon one of your songs one day.

Helm for President!

The nice thing about living in New Jersey and being a Red Wing fan is, when the game is on, and I'm at one of my favorite eating establishments, I'm watching the game at the bar and am watching the TV like an addict... when Helm goes on the breakaway, I give the warning... Go Helm!... go go go go... uh... YAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The 'Yahhh!' part is when most of the people who weren't watching the game (Yankees regular(early) season. whoo.) get the bejeezus scared out of them... I can't help it. Fortunately, I only do this for a couple weeks during the year, so they dont' get too mad at me. I tip well.

The point is, Helm has been fan-freaking-tastic. He's young, he doesn't know any better, and he's playing for an NHL regular roster spot. He's part of a winning organization, but he's played more games in the NHL playoffs than regular season! He has been a dynamo during this segment against the Ducks, and I say without him, no advancement for Detroit. Sure, Franzen gets the nod as the MVP for this round, but without Helm playing the way he did, and has been, the Wings go no further.

At this point, I could point out the negatives. Nah.

RED WINGS FTW.

Can't wait to meet Chicago.

Duuuuude! Stop Bogartin' the Cheerios, man!

Crunch crunch crunch. Whoa, dude... total head rush. The FDA, the lovable drug police arm of the government, is getting on General Mills' ass about the claim that eating Cheerios can lower cholesterol levels by 10%. Why is this an issue? I mean, there are no absurd chemical compounds in Cheerios that aren't found in other cereals. They make them out of f*cking OATS. Oats are good for you, they reduce Cholesterol. The FDA says that if General Mills makes the claim, that makes Cheerios a drug. Are you serious? So, if I cut cheeseburgers out of my diet and reduce my cholesterol, does that make McDonalds the anti-drug?

I don't get it. If it were a mysterious chemical formula, okay. I can see it. However, it's a f*cking box of CHEERIOS. Made from oats. With perhaps some love. If you want to see the ingredient list, here ya go. What is it, the oat fiber? No, that's okay. Vitamin B? A? What is it???? No, no mysterious ingredients.

Well then, I have a proposal. I think that if you give me oral sex and consume the product daily instead of eating cheeseburgers, your cholesterol will go down 10%. That makes me a drug FDA, so you'd better get some chick over here to dispute my claims ASAP. Then you can truly suck, since apparently, you do. Assholes.

Free cars for welfare recipients!

Get 'em while they're hot! Can you believe this sh*t? I'm glad my tax dollars are buying poor people cars, gives me more people to road rage at. Assholes. I hope you get a Yugo.

For the love of God, Brett.

Don't do it Brett, just don't. Please. Re-fucking-tire.

You little racist Nip bastards!

Google, in their quest to be the uber map kings, have packaged some old Japanese historical maps that show where the locations of the poor and unworthy are in their cities back from the days of castes and such. They're not very happy about it, as you can imagine. Here's the whole story.

It's very classist, and it's pretty ugly. Talk about busted bigtime. Ooops! I mean, it's not like we didn't know. Every society does it, so, whatever. Just try not to put it on a map is all I'm sayin'.